Do you find yourself frozen with fear of the unknown, unable to make important decisions? Does the thought of managing without your loved one fill you with anxiety? Fear of the unknown is a common issue that arises during the grieving process, and it can be incredibly difficult to deal with.
So why does the fear of the unknown cause such distress? Simply put, uncertainty is a part of life that we often choose to ignore until we have no other choice but to face it head-on. When we are filled with anxiety, we are forced to either learn to live one day at a time or allow our fear to consume us. So what can we do to combat this fear of the future?
First, it’s important to understand that taking risks is a productive way to confront the unknown. Risk-taking is essential for growth and progress. It involves learning new things, making sacrifices, and understanding that failure is a vital part of the learning process. By breaking out of your comfort zone and starting anew, even in the midst of pain, you can overcome your fear.
It’s also helpful to recognize that millions of people, including myself, have learned to live with uncertainty. Psychotherapist Pauline Boss refers to this as “ambiguous loss,” explaining that while our desire for certainty is normal, it is also natural to never fully achieve it. Understanding that uncertainty is a part of life allows us to experiment with different ways of managing it. When one approach fails, we can try another.
Additionally, it is crucial to shift your focus from the future to the present. This takes effort, but it is a strategy that can greatly reduce anxiety. Focus on the immediate needs and responsibilities in your life, and when you feel yourself spiraling into negative thoughts about the unknown, redirect your attention to something positive in the present. By becoming skilled at refocusing, you can develop a lifelong ability to manage uncertainty.
Don’t be afraid to lean on those close to you for support. Share your fears and seek advice from trusted individuals. Take their suggestions into consideration, implementing them if they align with your situation. If not, put them aside for future consideration. Seeking guidance from wise and experienced individuals, even if it means paying for their expertise, can help alleviate your fears.
One of the most important suggestions from counselors is to confront your fears rooted in uncertainty. Don’t allow them to paralyze you. Remember that there will always be times when you don’t have all the answers, and this is unavoidable. However, history has shown us that we can overcome the unknown. By facing our fears head-on, we can find the strength to prevail.
In conclusion, fear of the unknown is a common and challenging issue to deal with during grief. However, by taking risks, accepting uncertainty as a natural part of life, shifting our focus to the present, seeking support and guidance, and confronting our fears, we can learn to manage this fear and overcome it. Remember that you are not alone, and there is strength in facing the unknown.
Written by Lou LaGrand